Toothpick

Slow down. Stop pushing, there's room for everyone. I am afraid this will be a huge let down. Nah, this kinda shit only happens to me. This is rather verbose so make sure your comfy or just come back later when you have the time to devote. I promise this is not one you want to skim or speed read through.

I did love me some cinnamon toothpicks as a youth but thankfully the toothpick in this story was not of that kind. It was a regular old toothpick. The kind you get in a box of 250 or so.
My 10 year old must have lost his damn mind when he thought it would be okay to play with toothpicks. I have no fucking clue where he got the idea to use toothpicks as pretend swords but that's just what he did. He had given a couple to each of his younger brothers but of course he had the bigger handful. I nipped it in the bud as soon as I figured out what was going on. The toothpicks were thrown in the trash. We had a talk. "You could poke someone's eye out with one of those things, someone could get seriously injured whether it was the eye or something else. Those are just for Mommy to use. No more touchy my toothpicks. Everyone understand? Good,great,grand!"

I get back to packing for my trip to Ks. I was unaware of what was lurking in my carpet. Not 5 minutes after I told my kids the dangers of toothpicks I was the lucky one to get injured. I was walking along minding my own when a toothpick jabs into my heel. Not a standing up jab in my foot, a sideways stab into my heel. That pain was awful. I hopped around screaming and cussing.
After I calmed down, the pain still lingered though, I searched for the culprit to find 2 toothpicks in the carpet. One was broken. Off and on for the rest of the day I tried with tweezers to get something out of my heel. I couldn't see anything but it sure felt like I had something in there. This happened on the 5th of July,that evil day. Screw you 5th of July!

I left for Ks on the 6th. I woke up that morning with redness around the entry site the size of a dime. FUCK it's infected! I was sort of limping that day. By Monday the 7th I was full on limping. Walking on the ball of my foot, sometimes tippie toe. It was like some kind of clumsy ballerina.
The redness was getting worse. I had to go to the ER. I have a friend that's a nurse and she had told me what would have to be done if it didn't get better. I'm still trying to decide if knowing what my fate was helped or hurt me more. I am a big fat baby when it comes to pain. I am afraid of needles. I'm really a health professionals worst nightmare.

The ER was not busy at all. After taking my name and birth date (they take your insurance info after you are done) I was taken in right away. One lady took my vitals and asked a couple questions. I warned her I was a big baby, just so she could be prepared. Turns out she had nothing to do with my procedure. She leaves and less than 5 minutes goes by and in walks a female Dr and a female nurse! I was happy. I warned them that I was going to be a big baby. The Dr admitted that the numbing was going to be the most painful and that it REALLY smarted. They started prepping , I tried positioning myself so I couldn't see what they were doing. I couldn't help but think about what was going to happen to me. It didn't help when I heard one of them say what scalpel she wanted. Unfortunately I saw that long ass fucking needle. You should know that by the time I went to the ER it hurt just to brush a q-tip over the site. The pain from that numbing shot hurt so fucking bad. I screamed, it was fucking loud. I even cussed. I think it was long drawn out FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK! Possible a Son-of-a-bitch! They had to remind me to take slow breaths. Yeah I was holding my breath.

They got the piece of toothpick out of my heel. I have a 1/2 inch slit that I have to wash and put antibiotic ointment on twice a day. I have to keep it covered when I am up and about. The Dr and nurse were so awesome. They were so sweet and nice and understanding. I was in and out in just over an hour. That, I think, is unheard of in ER's. I love small town Ks. I would not have gotten such kindness and empathy and genuine care from the military ER. I am glad I didn't go at home. I am on some antibiotics to knock the infection. The pain meds they gave me made me feel like crap so I quit taking them.

Anyone with weak constitutions should look away while you scroll down to leave me a comment. Actually it's really not that bad, promise.

My lovely new bracelet I mentioned the other day.

My wound...

DUH! I asked for the piece of toothpick they pulled out of my heel.What blogger wouldn't?! Heck what Mom wouldn't? When I asked the Dr if I could have gotten it out she told me "No, it was in pretty deep."
You can bet your bottom dollar that I showed my oldest what was cut and dug out of my heel. I told him that I better never see another toothpick in his hands. His life would be in danger.