Here I am, facing another holiday without him, alone with the kids. I have not even decorated with my Easter stuff. I haven't bought one single thing for the boys. I'm feeling very Easter Grinchy.
I don't even plan on coloring eggs with them. Talk about Bah Humbug. I really don't give a shit. I'm not religious and so my kids don't even know why we celebrate Easter. For all they know it's just a Spring holiday when they get presents in a basket, and hunt for plastic eggs filled with candy and money. I know that's not what its all about but they don't. It makes me sick that they seem so greedy. I created the green monsters that they are. I'm not going to run out and get them to a church to experience an Easter Sunday service, but something has got to change.
What I find so ironic is the majority of my friends on FB and plurk and even in my everyday life are super religious/full of faith. It's so odd. I feel so odd. Why can't I find people that are more middle of the road, like I am? It is very hard to teach the meaning of holidays to your children when you personally feel so conflicted about the truth behind the stories. I love people that have strong convictions about their faith.
I question. I doubt. I make little green money hungry monsters of my kids.
