Books

So, yesterday I showed you the magic I posses. I said that I would show you all the books. I just now realized I didn't take pictures of ALL the books in the book room,that or I didn't take quality pictures. So I only have 5 today. I have a post in the making of things I found that made me think of blogger buds. Then I have one that will be full of other treasures found in that room. There is also another one that I want to do that is more like a meme but it is all about books, which is rather fitting. I just have a ton of posts in my head and pictures to share. I won't make any promises as to when they will show up. On with the show! Click on any shot to big it. See if you can find a favorite book!
In the one below there is more books below the last shelf you can see in the picture.
One close up.As you can tell from this photo I double shelved the books. Mom hates that, I do too, but I had no other choice. There are only a couple of shelves on this wooden shelving, that my Dad built, that aren't double shelved!
Just FYI, the books shown in this room only represent about an 1/8th of the amount of books my Mom owns. Fianna and my hubby knows. Tell them I am not exaggerating.

It's Magic!

Oh, oh it's magic! I had a lil project while I was home in KS. My Mom lives in a very old bungalow. It used to be a farm house back in the day. She said the previous owners raised 3 kids in that house. Technically it is a 3 bedroom. There is a room that my Mom calls the Dormer. We have always called it the book room, it is filled with shelves and shelves of books. My Mom=a book wh@re! She has more than one copy of most of her books. She dreamed of having a used book store someday. She has given up on that dream but hasn't given up ANY of her books. Anyway, I have gone slightly of course. My project was to clean up the book room that had become a dusty storage room of more than just books and turn it into a usable space. Mom said it was a bedroom when the previous owners lived in it. My goal was to turn it back into one. Today I will show you before and after shots, because I know you all are a bunch of voyeurs! Click on any photo to enlarge.


BEFORE:

AFTER:
Viola! A usable bedroom! Now my Mom wants and needs to replace the windows in that room. She will also need to fix the ceiling. I kept it out of my photos on purpose. It is sagging in places from a long time a go when the roof leaked. Roof is fixed but ceiling is not and you can feel the heat coming in through the sagging ceiling. Anyway! Tomorrow I will post more of the book shelves, and maybe a few of the treasures I uncovered in there!

Boobie Mouth

I really do apologize to anyone left that still reads my blog. I have been a bad, bad girl. I have been neglecting my readers and my blog. I feel so bad. I do have a ton of posts up my tank top. They will just have to wait until I get back home and things get back to normal. I didn't get to all the places I wanted to. I didn't see all the things or people I wanted to. I also didn't take as many photos as I wanted to. I think it is time for a new digital camera. Speaking of photos. I think I have just the thing to make up for my absence. After reading all the funny things Mouth said, how could I not share with all of you this priceless photo? My boob obsessed lil man.
"Look Mommy! Cow boobies!" I know! It's perfect. Mouth framed by boobies. I'll bet later in life there will be another picture of him taken at some frat party that Mommy will never see but for sure his face will be framed by boobies.

Lone Photo

Well this is it. The one and only photo I took while I was at Jenni's, the first blogger I got to meet. Now I am on a mission to meet more of you!! Watch out! I suppose there wasn't much opportunity to take photos while we were on a search and rescue mission. I didn't even get to fully enjoy her beautiful land. I like to think I have an eye for photography. You have no idea how much I wish that I had a built in camera in my eyes that I could just snap what I see. Anyway, this is one of those times that I thought the subject matter would make for a great photo. Here it is....
Feedin' Time at the O'Kitty Corral!
There is just one thing that needs to be photoshopped out of there. It just sticks out like a sore thumb....
I'm sorry that I had so much build up for this photo. It is my LONE photo! Let me cherish it. It is fantastic because it is my only one. My precious!

Fun Monday Dream Job

This Monday's hostess is the delicious Irish Coffeehouse. She has asked what career we wanted as a child and what career we would have if we could do anything we wanted and start the job tomorrow.

This is super easy for me, so easy I am so ashamed I didn't get this post typed out and ready to go days before today!

As far back as I can remember I wanted to be an Astronaut. The first time I rode a roller coaster that dream flew out the window, along with my lunch! The other job I dreamed of having when I grew up was to be a Marine Biologist. I longed to play with the dolphins and whales and get paid to do it. The reason I never pursued that job was because I did not go to college!
If I could be a Marine Biologist tomorrow I would. One other job I would like to do is a horticulturist. I love plants and I love playing in the dirt!

If you would like to read what other bloggers wanted to be when they grew up check out Irish Coffeehouse for the list.

My! What a big Mouth you have!

If you are planning to meet a blogger for the first time do not bring your kids. Okay, maybe it's just my kids. I'm going to share a few things that my kids said during my visit to Jenni's. I was apprehensive about taking them with me. I just knew that they would embarrass me. Sometimes they can behave BADLY! This time it was the things they said that made me hide my head in shame! I sat them all down before leaving to tell them what I expected, cussing and name calling and beating each other up was on the top of my list.

My youngest, who from here on out will be called Mouth, calls his brothers names. I am sure the name calling started from my oldest calling the younger 2 names so then they joined in. As you read on, you will figure out why I am calling him Mouth. One thing you won't gather from all this is how LOUD the boy is. His inside voice is almost a yell. Trust me, you don't want to hear him yell. Here is a sampling of the name calling that Mouth called his older brother while we were at Jenni's.
~ Ka-ka head
~ Wee-wee head
~Crap head, which is a vast improvement from what he used to say only a couple weeks ago which was Shit head! Progress people, progress!

Remember how I told you that my younger 2 ran off and we didn't know where to find them? At some point Danny decided to take them for a walk to find us. He led them down the first path we all took together in the very beginning, the same path that Jenni and I came back up thinking they might have remembered it was the way back, and they had, smart lil cookies that they are. Anyway, that path curves around down to the stable and then Danny took them on a different path to get back to the house. Danny said my lil guys were sure that Danny had gone the wrong way. He kept trying to tell them that they were going the right way, headed back towards the house. Once they came up the hill and Mouth caught sight of our car and their house he exclaimed,"HOLY CRAP! What the HELL?!" I was so glad I missed that one. Danny sure got a kick out of it though! Their kids got a kick out of the retelling of it too!

Later on in the evening while they were outside playing with the dogs(and 1 goat) Mouth came running inside, he was rather mad. He said, "Mom-mee! The goat hurt my shirt!"(hands on hips) I look over his shirt and told him that it was fine. He argued," NO! IT! ISN'T!" I said,"I bet Yoda protected you." Mouth,"NOOO!"(said like I am the dumbest person on earth) I said, " Yeaaah, I bet he used the force to keep her horns from hurting your shirt." You could see the wheels turning. He said like he had just forgotten,"Oh yeah! He did!" Then Mouth ran back outside!

Jenni has a ton of cats. She has kittens too. What do kittens eat? Milk from their Mommy. What does that do to a Momma cats boobs? Makes them more noticeable. Now none of us can remember exactly what Mouth said.(Oh where oh where is Janet when you need her?) I am sure it was something like, "I saw the kitty's boobies!" or "That kitty has boobies!" I also think that Mouth mentioned "kitty's boobies" more than once or twice! I don't think that lil man of mine is boob obsessed much, do you?!! Only a few days before we went to Jenni's, Mouth told me that he wanted boobies for his Birthday next year. You have no clue how badly I wanted to tell him that once he got married he could have a pair all "his own"! Unless that comment means he wants to be a sweet transvestite!! Only time will tell.

I'm sure there was more crazy things that my 4 and 5 year old said but no one remembers. All I know is that I'm getting myself a little voice recorder!

Blogger Fit Club

Who would have thought that meeting a blogger would have been such a workout? I don't mean a mental workout, or an emotional one. I mean a good old fashioned physical workout.(Get out of that gutter.) Let's go back to the beginning shall we? Ding Dong. Jenni answers the door. My children start filing in I try to name them off as they enter her home. I put some of our things down. Then we left to go check out her outside world. We stopped at the dog coral, I think she called it a kennel. The first things my boys asked was where her dogs were once they realized they weren't in the house. I had totally forgotten that they had a goat. They let the dogs out to walk with us. See, the goat thinks she is a dog too, just don't tell her. We walk along the path, talking as we go. We headed to the stable to see the horses. My oldest got to help feed them.

While we were at the stables my middle guy decided to get adventurous and went off exploring. It was once he was headed back towards us I noticed that he had strayed. He wanted to go explore in another direction. I told him it was ok, that we would follow him. My oldest was being a lil shy and didn't want to be left alone, so Jenni and I went into the barn to help ease his mind. She talked to Jordan, asked her to let my big guy help feed the horses. Once he knew what to do we turned around to catch up with my middle guy. But wait! Where did my baby boy go? He was wearing a bright orange shirt and there was no orange to be seen. I thought he probably trotted after my middle guy. So off we went down a different path than what we originally took. Once we could see quite a ways ahead on that path and no orange was in site, I said he couldn't have gotten that far let's go back. We then go back up a hill, yes there a hills in KS. Okay so maybe these were more like slopes. We head back the way we came, with another incline. At this point we are back by the house. No sign of either of my younger 2 boys. So we head down these stairs(scroll all the way down to see the full staircase I am referring to). It's like a short cut to the stable. Still no sign of them. We head back to the stable. Jenni recruits Jordan in the search for my 2 lost boys. We went further down the first path we had tried once we realized they were missing. Then we come back to the stables, remember the hill. Then we walked a ways in the opposite direction. Now I need to let you in on something. It was easily 90 degrees outside and we were not taking a leisurely walk. We were walking at very good, almost fast pace. I was not really freaked out that my boys were missing, even though it was so unlike them to stray from me when they were someplace unfamiliar. I have to say that each time Jenni took me down yet another different path I did start to worry a little, but I wasn't even close to freaking!

We kept on walking and talking. I am sweating like a pig, sweat is pouring down my beat red face. It's a good thing I didn't decide to put on any make-up, for sure it would have melted off! We head up an even steeper incline to get back to her house from yet a different path. We encounter her oldest son leaving. He informs us that his Dad had the boys and that they had left the house looking for us. We decided to go in the house, cool off a tad, and rehydrate ourselves. She calls Jordan to tell her to come back,the boys were with her Dad. Jenni had sent her further on at one point and we turned around to try yet another path. After the call and rehydrating, Off we went to see if Danny could hear Jenny yell for him. We walk back down these stairs, Jenni yelling as we go. We meet up with Jordan, and decide that Danny will return to the house eventually. Back up the stairs we go!

Want to know the really funny part to this story. The first time we that we came back by the house and then down the stairs for the first time, if we had thought to check in the house before heading down the stiars we would have found them and saved our butts from that kick ass cardiovascular workout!
I didn't think my boys were ballsy enough to walk into someones house that they had just met and make themselves at home. They had only spent less than 5 minutes in the house when we first got there. Obviously they felt right at home at Jenni's!

I know this was rather lengthy, and that there was no need to try and describe all the different ways we went. "We walked and walked and walked and walked and walked a whole fucking lot in 90 degree weather looking for my 2 heathens that were nice and cool in the air conditioned house." I know that would have sufficed. But that would have been the entire post and what fun would there have been in that?! There are still at least 2 more posts I can squeeze out of the day Jenni and I met. At least they won't be as long as this one.

Her side of the Story

Check it out! Jenni has posted about our blog meet! There is a picture of me and Jenni. lol Want to know something funny? Whenever I say her name in my head like I just did back there when I was thinking what I wanted to type, I say it like Forest Gump says Jenni and I type it out in that rhythm too. Yes, I am aware I have issues.

Just in case you are wondering, I am not wearing the same shirt you saw me wear when you tried to guess which one was me in this post. 2 totally different shirts. Please note my girls were more contained for my blog meeting...wait. Don't pay attention to my girls. That's just weird. Oh for fucks sake! I forgot my girls ARE my blogger picture. I give up!
GO read Jenni's post about her first ever blog buddie meeting, while I find a nice big rock to hide under!!

Yesterday...

love was such an easy game to play... Oh, excuse me. I didn't mean to break out in song. Let's see if I can try this again. Yesterday, I had my cherry popped. Not that one you dirty birds! A blogging cherry, there are many of them as beautifully described by WT in this post and in this one. Yesterday, I met my very first blogger in real life! It was a very exhilaratingly experience!

I had called her to let her know that I was getting away later than I had expected or wanted to. Oh her voice was so sweet and gentle. Me? The excitement could not be contained in my voice. I ran a mile a minute. I am sure I sounded like a giddy school girl. Thinking about how she sounded so calm, and that her voice was super sweet I wondered if I sounded crass and harsh. I suppose that would match my no shoving sunshine up anyones ass persona. I was afraid that just that 3 minute phone conversation had freaked her out and that she was wishing she had never agreed to let us come out to her home, let alone meet me.

We pulled up to her home and my oldest immediately said,"WOW! I could live here!" I second that! I am so mad at myself though. I DID remember to bring my camera, but do you think I took any pictures? NO! I had planned on taking photos of EVERYTHING. Of course I planned on getting her permission before I posted any of them. SIGH! Well I did take one photo. I will be saving that for another post. It needs to be cherished, savored, it is my lone photo.

There is actually quite a bit to tell for the 5 and half hours we spent at her house. I'm sure she will be blogging about it too. When we were leaving I told her to feel free to blog about ANYTHING she wanted to and to be absolutely honest. My feelings won't be hurt if she thinks my kids are untamed heathens. Or if I weirded her out just by me geeking out on her Kitchen. It's a good thing she didn't see my reaction to her master bathroom when her hubby gave me the upstairs tour. I'm still trying to decide if I am more envious of her kitchen or her bathroom. Oh, who am I kidding? I am envious of her entire home to include the garage and all the land!! I even told her that I want a place like this when I grow up. I am not kidding. She totally has my dream home, out in the country, on the Kansas prairie. I am sure you know by now that I am talking about Jenni from Prairie Air. I could have turned this into another contest, but for most of you it would have been a no brainier! Stay tunned, there are more stories to tell of my first ever blogger meeting. I feel sorry for Jenni. She told me she always thought the first blogger she would ever meet would be Ree. I am a F-list blogger if even that, so at least she still has "Meeting an A-list/Celeb blogger" to check off her list of blogging firsts. I just hope I didn't totally ruin it for her. ;)

Drumroll please....

18 comments people! That's awesome. I am trying to figure out if anyone has missed out...but 16 readers(2 commented twice) sounds about right...give or take a few. Anyway! 16 people commented on my last post and only 5 got it correct. 6 if you count Swampy's...which I am actually debating on.
So, Beckie was the first to leave a comment and she was correct! I deleted her comment because I wanted everyone else to have fun guessing and because I didn't think to figure out how to "hide" the comments until after she commented! If I have anymore impromptu contests or non-impromptu contests I will turn it back on. Lesson learned.

Beckie said:"There isn't anyone else in the picture that is tall enough to be you except the person on the far right with the reddish/pink shirt on. Am I right?" I replied back: "LMAO you are correct!!! What gave it away? The legs that go on for miles?!! Lol damn my cheeks fucking hurt!!"
Then I asked her if it was that damn easy, apparently not! But WAIT! There is more.
Another reason I deleted her comment and figured out how to turn on comment moderation was because I was feeling generous. I was in such a fanfuckingtastic mood that I wanted to spread the joy. So if WT, Janet, Bev, Nikki(you know I luv you for sayin': "huge bazoongas hanging out"), and Swampy would care to email me your snail address I will send a very tiny token from Kansas, my land of Oz! If there happens to be something you collect like shot glasses,magnets,etc then please let me know. I will try to accommodate. Beckie, I didn't mention you because you already sent me your snail but if there is anything you collect please let me know!
Oh, I bet you are wondering which gal was me..... I tried to upload the cropped version of me from that photo but blogger is being a fuckin' ass! I was the one on the first row, far right in the Coral shirt. It was neither red, nor orange, nor pink(I hate pink). Just sayin'. Thanks to everyone for playing along with my little game! We'll have to do it again sometime! The comments from my last post are a blast to read, check them out if you have the time!

10 friends and a barrel of laughs

Last night was a gathering of 10 gals from H.S. We spent 9 hours together. I have not laughed that much, that hard for that many hours straight EVER in my life. My cheeks STILL hurt! I had a blast! I can not wait until we get together again. My only fear is that we went through all the old stories and we'll have nothing left the next time we get together. I feel like a much bigger ass about my "blurt" after last night. Aside from my BFF J. (no kids) I was the 2nd most slender gal in attendance...well it was probably a 3 way tie for second with me and 2 other gals. Either way I'm a fucking dumbass!

Speaking of dumbassery, I forgot my fucking camera!! Thankfully there were like 4 other cameras there and 3 out of the 4 have ways to share them with me. One gal already had all 36 photos uploaded to her M*sp@ce page this morning, with captions on all of them no less!!
I won't keep it up for long. I didn't take it, I don't have anyone's permission to post it but I figure since the only peeps in real life that read this are my hubs and my BFF Fianna it shouldn't be a big deal. Right? Right!
If you are trying to figure out which gal is me,I'm not telling! Ha ha! First person to guess correctly, Fianna and hubs excluded, will get a small prize from KS. I know, this came out of the blue! It's probably a no brainier, and it's not fair or diplomatic or whatever. I don't give a damn!
Get to guessing!

Toothpick

Slow down. Stop pushing, there's room for everyone. I am afraid this will be a huge let down. Nah, this kinda shit only happens to me. This is rather verbose so make sure your comfy or just come back later when you have the time to devote. I promise this is not one you want to skim or speed read through.

I did love me some cinnamon toothpicks as a youth but thankfully the toothpick in this story was not of that kind. It was a regular old toothpick. The kind you get in a box of 250 or so.
My 10 year old must have lost his damn mind when he thought it would be okay to play with toothpicks. I have no fucking clue where he got the idea to use toothpicks as pretend swords but that's just what he did. He had given a couple to each of his younger brothers but of course he had the bigger handful. I nipped it in the bud as soon as I figured out what was going on. The toothpicks were thrown in the trash. We had a talk. "You could poke someone's eye out with one of those things, someone could get seriously injured whether it was the eye or something else. Those are just for Mommy to use. No more touchy my toothpicks. Everyone understand? Good,great,grand!"

I get back to packing for my trip to Ks. I was unaware of what was lurking in my carpet. Not 5 minutes after I told my kids the dangers of toothpicks I was the lucky one to get injured. I was walking along minding my own when a toothpick jabs into my heel. Not a standing up jab in my foot, a sideways stab into my heel. That pain was awful. I hopped around screaming and cussing.
After I calmed down, the pain still lingered though, I searched for the culprit to find 2 toothpicks in the carpet. One was broken. Off and on for the rest of the day I tried with tweezers to get something out of my heel. I couldn't see anything but it sure felt like I had something in there. This happened on the 5th of July,that evil day. Screw you 5th of July!

I left for Ks on the 6th. I woke up that morning with redness around the entry site the size of a dime. FUCK it's infected! I was sort of limping that day. By Monday the 7th I was full on limping. Walking on the ball of my foot, sometimes tippie toe. It was like some kind of clumsy ballerina.
The redness was getting worse. I had to go to the ER. I have a friend that's a nurse and she had told me what would have to be done if it didn't get better. I'm still trying to decide if knowing what my fate was helped or hurt me more. I am a big fat baby when it comes to pain. I am afraid of needles. I'm really a health professionals worst nightmare.

The ER was not busy at all. After taking my name and birth date (they take your insurance info after you are done) I was taken in right away. One lady took my vitals and asked a couple questions. I warned her I was a big baby, just so she could be prepared. Turns out she had nothing to do with my procedure. She leaves and less than 5 minutes goes by and in walks a female Dr and a female nurse! I was happy. I warned them that I was going to be a big baby. The Dr admitted that the numbing was going to be the most painful and that it REALLY smarted. They started prepping , I tried positioning myself so I couldn't see what they were doing. I couldn't help but think about what was going to happen to me. It didn't help when I heard one of them say what scalpel she wanted. Unfortunately I saw that long ass fucking needle. You should know that by the time I went to the ER it hurt just to brush a q-tip over the site. The pain from that numbing shot hurt so fucking bad. I screamed, it was fucking loud. I even cussed. I think it was long drawn out FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK! Possible a Son-of-a-bitch! They had to remind me to take slow breaths. Yeah I was holding my breath.

They got the piece of toothpick out of my heel. I have a 1/2 inch slit that I have to wash and put antibiotic ointment on twice a day. I have to keep it covered when I am up and about. The Dr and nurse were so awesome. They were so sweet and nice and understanding. I was in and out in just over an hour. That, I think, is unheard of in ER's. I love small town Ks. I would not have gotten such kindness and empathy and genuine care from the military ER. I am glad I didn't go at home. I am on some antibiotics to knock the infection. The pain meds they gave me made me feel like crap so I quit taking them.

Anyone with weak constitutions should look away while you scroll down to leave me a comment. Actually it's really not that bad, promise.

My lovely new bracelet I mentioned the other day.

My wound...

DUH! I asked for the piece of toothpick they pulled out of my heel.What blogger wouldn't?! Heck what Mom wouldn't? When I asked the Dr if I could have gotten it out she told me "No, it was in pretty deep."
You can bet your bottom dollar that I showed my oldest what was cut and dug out of my heel. I told him that I better never see another toothpick in his hands. His life would be in danger.

If I was there...

Where is there exactly? Nikki's. If I was at Nikki's right now, which I wish I could be, here's what I'd do.

I'd have a gazillion color choices for nail polish and we'd paint our nails fun and wacky colors!
I'd bring all the best fashion magazines and we'd look through them together, trashing what was trash and ooohhh and ahhh over what was Fab!
If you haven't watched it yet, we'd watch f**k together. Laughter is the best medicine.
I'd make you some chocolate chip banana bread and mac-n-cheese, or anything else your lil heart desired.
Once you get the all clear from your doctor, and you are finally able to take that deep breath in, we would go out back and set that miscarriage packet on FIRE! Burn fucker burn!

So there are a few of the things I would do if I could be there for her. Smooches Nikki! Head on over to her online home and send her positive thoughts and prayers, if you pray, she needs all the love and positive/happy thoughts she can get right now. Thanks a bunch.

Toothpick post is in the making....

Checkin' in

I told my Mommy I wasn't going to stay up late. I need my sleep,but I haven't been online since the 3rd and I was starting to twitch. It wasn't pretty. So I spent the last 2 hours catching up with everyone and replying to emails. I just realized that maybe someone out there might want to be catching up with me. snicker. snort. belly laugh.

I drove to KS Sunday. All 3 of my boys are alive. They started swim lessons today.
I got myself a nice bracelet today. It's one of my favorite colors.
It's Wildcat purple, kinda.
I have loads to say. What I really want to blog about I need to take pictures and I just can't take these pictures until tomorrow. So just sit tight. All will be revealed soon.

One teaser word, Toothpick.

WTF Thursday

My hubs is a word geek. He gets a txt every morning giving him a new word, it's definition and a sample sentence. He uses it at least once during the day. He loves learning new words, loves expanding his vocabulary. He sorta blogs, he hasn't been lately. We were talking about something and I said he should blog about it. He proceeds to tell me "I'm not blogging that. I'm not going to blog anymore. I think I'm going to delete the whole thing." I freak out a lil, tell him not to do that, I said,"Blogging can be very cathartic." He stops cold. Looks at me like "You're not my word of the day. WTF do you think your doing using a big word like that before I use it?" Then he proceeds to tell me he will never use that word. Now I'm the one looking at him like WTF! I say,"You mean to tell me just because I used a big word that you haven't used yet means you won't ever use it? All because I said it first?" Him,"Yes." WTF?!

I have another one from him. 2 WTF's both happened within an hour of each other. Not only is my hubs a word geek he is a tech geek too. Let me just take the opportunity now to say that geek is sexy. He loves his mac book pro, and his i-phone more than me. I asked him again how much his i-phone cost. He said 300. I started to ask him why the hell he got that one when he could have waited for the new gen and could get it for a hundred less. He starts babbling, "How was I supposed to know,blah,blah,blah." I say,"So, I could get a new gen i-phone for 199?" He goes on to school me that the only way to get one for that price is to upgrade the old gen i-phone. That I would still have to pay 300 for the new gen i-phone. But that I will not be getting a new gen i-phone. Here starts the WTF. I start doing the math in my head as to what our monthly cell bill would be if we both had i-phones. We discuss it. He tells me, "What we can do is I'll go into AT&T and upgrade my i-phone and you can have mine." Me, "Uh, NO! I'm going to get the new gen i-phone, you already have an i-phone." He blows a gasket, spewing things like, "You couldn't even find a file on your computer, You wouldn't even USE half the features on it. It would be such a waste in your hands." I tried asking him what features he thinks I wouldn't use. The only thing he mentioned was some GPS thingy. He didn't tell me any others because by that point he was too flustered at the thought of me having the new gen i-phone and not him. WTF?!!

One more WTF for the day. It's a picture.Do you see all the propane tanks behind the fireworks tent? The gas station right next to all the fucking explosives? What about the propane truck filling up with gas? What you don't see are some big ass fucking full tanks of propane off to the left of the picture. Wait. may I have a picture that shows them better. Click it to big it!WTF?!!

Freaky Like Me*EDITED*

The hubs gets up for work WAY before I do on most days. Every once in a while there are days he gets ready within an hour of me rising from the dead. I don't like those days. Not because I am awake before one of my 3 whining alarms goes off. I don't like it because I walk into a wall of yummy man smell when I get up and make my first trip to the loo. He took a shower, why does he have to add yummy cologne on top of yummy shower smell? It's just wrong. It's like being tortured first thing in the morning. I don't like it, not one little bit. And why does he even have to smell good for work? Huh? I guess that question is similar to the one he asks me when I wear make-up. "Why are you putting on make-up?" Gah! Can't a girl feel pretty every once in a while? I know I don't wear make-up much at all, but sometimes I want to look like I do give 2 fucks about what I look like, because most days I don't. Most days I don't leave the house. That revelation is rather depressing.

In other depressing news, the only thing I have packed for my trip home are towels. Yes, my Mom has towels, mine are beach towels for the swimming pool. That is it. That is all I have packed. I have a lot of work ahead of me. I should get busy but I have a cramp in my side. Wink, wink. I am super excited about seeing some old gal pals when I get home. Gals from H.S. that I haven't seen or talked to in over 14 years. There are lucky Mom's of 3 kids and then there unlucky. I'm unlucky, in the weight/fit department. Being obsessed with my weight is something really new to me and I blurted out my feelings in an email to my old friend 3 days ago....I want to share...

"I should warn you that I am fat now. See,this way when you see me you won't go DAMN! Kaytabug got f.a.t.! You will already be prepared. Be prepared. Ok, so I am not obese but I am overweight according to the BMI scale. Sometimes I like to fool myself into thinking that I am voluptuous. More to love, but it really makes me sick. I am working on it, so it's not like I'm just bitching about it. I am getting up off my fat ass and doing something about it, it's not like I can shed all these gallons of Ben and Jerry's overnight.
Um. Now I feel foolish.
But now you know, not that you care or needed to know. Anyway...Please don't let the others in on what a freak I am.
okay? okay.
You'll keep my secret right? :)

~K" end email.

So this came out of nowhere, and was the last paragraph of the email, and she hasn't emailed me back! Why did I feel the need to warn her of my weight gain? It matters not to her I'm sure. I am feeling insecure. It has been 3 days! I don't know why I even blurted all that out to her in an email but I did. I am now wishing I hadn't. It was through myspace so I can tell if she has read it, and she has! So there goes anyones idea of "Well, maybe she hasn't checked her email." Maybe I'll cancel out of the chick fest. This is bugging me more than it should and now you all know what a freak I am. RUN AWAY!

*EDITED to Add*
Just an hour after I hit publish post I received an email from my friend. Paraphrasing what she said:"You're not a freak, we've all gained weight,it doesn't matter,don't worry about it, your secret is safe with me." I feel like more of an ass now. Being this insecure about my weight is not me. Bringing it up like that to a friend I have not seen or talked to since HS is also not me. Nikki is right the image I have of myself is probably no where near the image others have of me. Being overweight is new to me, I know cry me a fucking river, but it is hard when I am used to looking one way for many years and now after ignoring what was going on look like something totally different. Thanks to everyone for the support, even WT at least he knows a freak when he sees one and I do wear my freak flag proudly!