Leaving...

The first time he left we had only known each other 2 months. During the 6 months he was away our relationship developed and grew through letters and phone calls.

The second time he left there was a 14 month old little boy that had to say goodbye, not understanding why, who asked "Momma cry?" This time it was for 14 months. About half way through he came home for 2 weeks and we were married. We spent the first 8 months of our marriage apart. Letters with "real" photos inside and really expensive phone calls were what kept us connected.

The 3rd time he left we lived in a foreign country with no family or friends to lean on for support. This time there was a 6 year old little boy that understood where and why but his 9 month old baby brother had no clue what was going on. It was the shortest one, only 5 months apart but it felt like the longest. Letters were few and far between now. Instant messaging was our biggest form of communication. A month after he left I found out I was pregnant. I had to tell him on an IM. There were no phone calls. I couldn't hear the tone of his words. We had to decide through emails and IM's if we were going to keep the baby. It was the longest and hardest 5 months ever.

The 4th time he left we were still living in a foreign country. By this time I had met a few people that were a support system for me. Now there was a 7 year old boy, 2 year old boy and a 9 month old baby boy that had to say goodbye to their Daddy for a year. This time Daddy got to see his baby's First Birthday through a Web Cam. There were more IM's, practically no letters, tons of care packages sent to him from us, not even ONE phone call, a few Web Cam IM's but no video chats. Pictures were sent via email. He got to come home for 2 weeks, after 9 months, for Christmas. It made it easier seeing him off knowing it was only for 3 more months.

3 years have gone by since his last return. We've been lucky. I am preparing for the 5th time. This time I'm in my own country. 5 Hours from my Mom. I have friends that live here. There will be less expensive phone calls, and video chat not just web cam IM's, and emails and photos. This time when he leaves the boys will be 12, 6, and 5. They will all be in school full time. All capable of understanding where and why. Sure it's a full year, where everything will fall on my shoulders but I've done it before. I know I can do it again. I'll not only have the support of my Mom and my friends here, I'll have my online friends too!!!

There is one thing that will be new territory for me during his year away. I will be getting our house ready to sell. That scares me more than going a year on my own. There will be plenty of blog fodder, but will I have time to blog it? Only time will tell!

Mouth Turns 5!

Today is Mouth's 5th Birthday. I can not believe he is 5 years old already. Seems like just a couple months ago I wrote about him turning 3. Feels like just mere weeks when I wrote about him turning 4. Maybe tomorrow I will be writing about how he is turning 6. For today, I write about the milestone that is 5.

He gets to start Kindergarten in just 2 months. He loves sharing with his brothers. The boy loves bubble gum and could go through a pack a day if I let him. I sure hope that's the only thing he enjoys a pack a day of! He is super determined and extremely head strong. He knows what he wants, when he wants it and how it wants it, and if it doesn't happen THAT way there is hell to pay.
I won't worry about him getting bullied at school, I worry that he will be one(just slightly). His strong will is going to be an asset to him. I hope he uses it wisely, and that his fire is never put out. He is a firecracker for sure! I used to think that my oldest was a bit dramatic. Mouth puts him to shame.

I love that out of the blue, for no reason at all he will blurt out "I love you, Mommy." He drags out the luuuuuve yooooooou. When that is not saturated with enough love he will tell me, "Mommy, I love you super duper much." He still loves pick up hugs. I sure hope that I get at least one more year of his lovey dovey-ness.

Happy Birthday lil' man of mine!


Mouth, 1 year old

2 years old

3 years old
4 years old
Mouth 5 years old at the Zoo pictures coming next month!!!

I missed it!

OMG!!! Yesterday was my anniversary. Well, not that one. My blogiversary. I started this blog 2 fucking years ago, yesterday! Wow. I can't believe I forgot! I wouldn't be surprised if most of you had started wondering if I had meant my last post to be "the end" of my blogging. I wouldn't blame you if you had.

I have much to be thankful for when it comes to this blog. I have met some truly kick ass people through my blog. I never would have met these people if I had not started blogging. Quite a few of them I count as very dear friends. So far I have only gotten to meet 2 of them offline.

I received a reply from what I used to think was a cool club on the first of June, just 2 days from my blogiversary, rejecting my request to join their club. What I learned from my new friends is that I don't need that cool club's logo in my side bar. It is not an indicator of a damn thing. I'm thankful that my friends were there to help remind me of that in my moment of weakness!

The biggest thing I am thankful for when it comes to my blog is the one person that introduced me to the blog world. I know that many of you have come to love me as I have come to love many of you. For my belated blogiversary I have this one request. Go here, leave her a comment thanking her for encouraging me to start this thing called a blog. If it was not for her, I would not be here.
Make it 2 requests! Add her to your reader, even though she posts just as infrequently as I do, when she does post they are too good to be missed. Trust me.
Why are you still here? Go thank her already!!

I hope as many people that wish me a happy blogiversary go tell her Thank you for giving Kaytabug to you!!