I have the mouth of a Marine. I swear too much. I swear in front of my kids, and then jump down their ass when they use cuss words that they heard me use. I understand that we have to model for our children. If you want your child to be caring and to give selflessly then let your child see you do that. Over and over again. Apply that theory to anything. I've got it.
What I don't get is when you don't say a certain word EVER. I mean Never. Ever. And then one day your child says that word. And chooses to say it in a store. In public! I'm mortified. I'm appalled! I'm disgusted. I don't know what the fuck to do. That word has never crossed my lips. I don't listen to music that contains that word. I don't watch movies with that word, not to say I haven't but not when they are awake. I know that he heard the word from another kid at school. But that does not make it okay. Nothing makes it okay.
I grabbed his face and squeezed his cheeks so hard while I talked all low and evil allupin his face that I left red marks. I was livid. I had another stern talk with him outside the store, outside of the car, my face allupin his. It is so beyond unacceptable to me. Yet, I don't know what to do.
Well, I do know one thing I want him to do. One of the things I said to him was that the word he said is a word used by racists. I asked if he knew what racist meant. He didn't. I asked if he knew what the word he said meant. No shocker, he didn't! I told him he would look the words up in the dictionary. Problem. The definition in the dictionary has words that he would have to look up to be able to understand the original word. I'm just not Johnny on the spot to come up with something on my own. I told him that it was a hateful word, disrespectful, mean, vulgar, racist and on and on. Hateful and mean was probably all he understood, which means he does not get the severity of him saying that word.
He told me the kid's name that told him the word. I didn't ask who told him. I volunteer in MM's classroom. The kid he named is the color of casper the ghost and is one of the biggest behavior problem kids in his class. This doesn't excuse a damn thing but it sure as hell explains a lot. Not only did MM get a STERN talking to, complete with asking him if he had EVER heard me or his Dad say that word. I made sure to point out that it had never crossed our lips. That it is NEVER EVER a word that is acceptable to say in any situation. I also took away his video game time for the day. Not punishment enough I tell you.
I never sat him down with the dictionary to look up the words but we will. Oh yes! We will.
Don't worry, I see the irony. Happy Black History Month to me! There should be a handbook on how to explain to your cracker kid how offensive that word really is. In words kids can understand. If it's out there, please lead me to it. Thanks.
