Friday, October 31, 2008

The Ghost of Halloween Past

The other day as I was driving out to the pumpkin patch to meet up with my middles sons class I saw a sign that brought on a string of thoughts that once I hit the end of them I was left feeling rather sad.
I passed a bar/club on the way to the pumpkin patch that had declared: Sexiest Costume Contest $300. Immediately I said Oh oh!!! I could so do that for 300 bucks!!! For a split second I started to think about what I would wear and then it hit me, NO! It bitch slapped me. Reality really does bite. It took a chunk out of my ass is what it did. I sunk down in my drivers seat and sulked.

Even if my hubby still finds me sexy a bar full of young 20-somethings will NOT find me sexy. I'm not being down on myself, this is the truth folks. Sure I might still be able to turn a few heads, I still have my own sexiness, but not enough to appeal to the masses. Even though in my head I still sometimes see myself as the 20-something hot babe, it is just that-all in my head...not on the outside anymore. This revelation made me extremely sad. It made me think back to a time when I came in second in a sexiest costume contest. The only reason I lost was my male friend went all Chippendale, ripping off his jean shorts revealing just his boxers and a bow tie. I had that contest in the bag til he came up on the stage. I guess it didn't help that the bar we were at was a gay bar, he and I were straight as were many,many other people but the straight women and gay men must have had more #'s that night than the straight men and lesbians. Sigh.


1st place:
2nd place:

Yes, I am aware that my costume looks rather normal, but back in 1994 it wasn't quiet the norm yet. Anyone care to take a guess as to what I was? Yes that's right I actually had a name for what I was dressed up as.
I'd tell ya I'd send ya something if you get it right, cuz no one is going to get this one, but I have no $$ to buy anything. That's why I wanted to enter the contest. I could really use the 300 bucks. You and me and just about everyone else could use the extra cash right now, with the economy the way it is now. But I would not hesitate for one second to shake what Momma gave me for $300, that is if I still had it.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

confidentiality my ass!

Yesterday afternoon I received my absentee ballot in the mail. At first I was happy, thankful that it finally arrived so that I can mail it back in time. Then anxiety started seeping in. But that is not what I wanted to write about. ( Neither is what follows, feel free to skip the next paragraph and go straight to the funny)

I was sorta shocked to find out that there is not just the A or B choice in front of us. If red or blue is not your color then there are 3 other choices on the ballot for president. Wow. Not that there is a snowballs chance in hell that any of those 3 guys will get elected, but it was kinda nice to know that I had other options. Frankly I don't like the 2 main options for president. You heard me, I said I do not like either one of them. I know most have strong feelings one way or the other but there are a good many Americans that feel confused,torn,undecided,unsure...or just flat out doesn't care anymore. You could say I am all of those things and more. For me it boils down to who is the lesser of two evils, and I haven't figured that out yet. I need to, the ballot is burning a hole on my desk. I had told a couple people that I was just not going to vote this year. But, I just couldn't bare the thought of NOT voting, so I sent off for my ballot. I told a couple others that I was just going to flip a coin. It scares me to leave such a ginormous decision up to chance. Yet, I feel that's all this election boils down to is chance. At this point I am so sick of all the coverage on this election, I lost interest 6 months ago. I am ready for it to be over. I don't care which one gets elected, just get it over with already so we can move on. I don't have any faith in politicians anyway. They make all these promises that once elected they are unable to keep. I am glad that there are a good many Americans that do have hope, that are optimistic, they can pick up the slack from my pessimistic ass.

Here is REALLY what I wanted to share, the funny(well I thought it was funny).That is the envelope that will contain my ballot. Click it to big it, but what caught my eye was the at the very bottom: "NOTICE TO VOTER:Your absentee ballot will be separated from this signed absentee envelop in order to guarantee the confidentiality of your vote."
Are you fucking serious? I don't believe that bullshit for one second. Do you really think that whoever opens this envelope won't glance at the ballot they pull out? Do they have one person overseeing the envelop opener to ensure my confidentiality? Fuck no! Maybe they close their eyes as they pull the ballot from the envelop and put it in a slot in a box,getting mixed with other ballots. Unlikely. I fear whoever opens it is corrupt enough to throw it away if I didn't vote for who they wanted, OR maybe they are on orders from "Big Brother" to chuck so many for X candidate, enough to throw the election the way "the powers that be" want it to go.

I have serious trust issues.

Don't bother asking who I voted for, I won't tell. Only the envelope opener and I will know. Please don't assume, I don't want to see you make an ass of yourself. Love ya!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Help save the Ta-ta's

The lovely and oh-so talented Rachel From the Land of Monkey and Princesses is having a boobtastic giveaway. All you have to do is head over there and leave her a comment and you are entered to win one of the many awesome prizes! If for some reason you don't want to enter to win free stuff that's okay, though I would want to check your head to make sure you were feeling okay, head over there anyway and click around. The more hits she gets the more ad revenue she gets and all of this months ad revenue will go to Breast Cancer Research!! You know you want to help save the tittys! So go visit Rachel, click around, her recipes are mouthwateringly delicious! But trust me there's more to her than just food and boob! Her giveaway goes on through the 31st. I felt myself up this month,did you?
Photobucket

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Famous, almost

The hubs and I took Mouth to preschool yesterday, it is normally not a joint effort. Hubs saw the Team Spirit truck from the post below, parked nearby, and he made the comment that "It's like seeing a celebrity." I said, "Sweet! That means I'm like a celebrity too!" He said, "No. You are not a celebrity. The truck is a celebrity, you are just the paparazzi."

Damn. Here I thought I was getting famous.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Team Spirit

Life has been hella busy! The 'rents were visiting again to celebrate the oldest ones birthday. My Dad's power funk was still present. I couldn't bring myself to come right out and ask him to take a damn shower. I showed him where the towels and washcloths were at and the body wash. He just didn't get the hint. He did however let me wash his funky ass clothes and that seemed to reduce his power funk. I think the cool fall weather helped too. Anyway, I am a wuss. The hubs was right, I couldn't do it!

I have been up to lots more but it is all so mundane, I just don't want to bore you to sleep. I will share an image with ya'll. I was driving my youngest to school one day and was behind a truck that just cracked me up. It was a Nissan Titan, and it was all decked out in Titan team logos. The truck in front of it was a Dodge Ram and I wondered if there was some St. Louis Rams fan that would get a Ram truck and decorate it with Rams crap too. I was mad that I didn't have my camera with me that day. I swear the next fucking day I was parking at the store and what was in the next row in front of me? The damn Titan fan truck. It's like I was meant to blog it!
You can't tell in the photo but even their license tag was Tennessee Titans.
Maybe I am just jealous that VW doesn't make a Wildcat. If they did, you can bet your bottom dollar that I'd get one and that bad ride would be Wildcat purple, or silver with the power cat in purple on the doors. A girl can dream. Until then I'll be laughing at Titan fans and Rams fans and.... can you think of a truck or car with the model name as a Team name? Let me know!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

11

one year older, one year further away from being my baby. ( 1 day and a half old)

He'll always be my baby, just don't tell him that.

How I'd love to go back to the days when he smiled at me like this.... (almost 3 months old)
Or even looked that sweet.

I wish he'd wear his hat straight... (almost 10 months)
Not all cockeyed like he does now cuz he thinks it's cool.

He will always be my messy boy with the big, beautiful blue/green eyes... (First Birthday)
Happy Birthday big guy! Mommy loves you. You are growing up too fast! You big goofball!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Zelda

February 2007 one of our neighbors offered to give our oldest son their turtle, tank and all. They just wanted to get rid of it. We said ok, not knowing that it would end up being a rescue. The neighbor kid had plucked this turtle out of his backyard in September. They stuck it in a 10 inch glass aquarium. The bottom was filled with aquarium rocks. Below the rocks you could see the urine from the turtle and mold growing. It was gross, it stank. They only fed the turtle lettuce and carrots and these turtle pellets from wally world. They thought it was a snapping turtle, just because it snapped at their dog once. Speaking of dogs, they told us that the turtle was used to dogs so we could let it out to play with our dogs. WTH?!

I immediately used my friend Google to find out what kind of turtle we did have. What kind of living conditions it needed to be in. What kind of food we needed to feed it. This turtle would hardly move. It didn't really eat. I was afraid it was dying. After all of my research on the internet I figured out it was a female 3 toed box turtle. I went out and bought a 50 gal rubber maid tub. Drove 70miles to our nearest Petco to get the appropriate type of substrate, a uvb lamp, and wax worms.This is the habitat we made for her.
It only took a couple of days and she perked right up.
She enjoyed her worms...
She loved her new home.Our oldest named her Zelda. He knew that we were not going to keep her.In late spring we planned on releasing her back out into the wild where she belonged. One day in the begging of June Luke started barking like mad. We went out back to see what he was barking at. It was a male 3 toed box turtle. We brought him inside, put him with Zelda, and named him Link. We kept them for just a couple more days and then released them both into the forest.
I have always liked turtles. After rescuing a turtle and taking care of one I now have a soft spot for them.
I miss her.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Back in the Day

I had another life once. A life before kids, before I met my husband. A life where I was wild and carefree. I did what I wanted when I wanted. I loved the nightlife and I was one irresponsible bitch. So irresponsible in fact, that I gave up a managerial job at the age of 19 because it was getting in the way of my drinking and clubbing. My other life. The one where I thought I was invincible. The one where I drank like some frat boy, and I thought I was cool because I was doing it before I was even of the legal age to drink. I got into the clubs as a 21 year old and I never had a fake ID. It was in this other life that I thought it was so fucking cool that Las Vegas did not have an open container law. I was able to walk the strip with a drink in my hand and I thought that was the shit. Never once thinking about the fact that I could have gotten in trouble for that open container because I wasn't old enough to even have it in my hands.At least I looked hawt while I was doing it. (photo clean up courtesy of WT)

Back in this other life, I had a boyfriend. He went to Vegas for the Holidays to be with his family, I stayed in Ks. One day I received a phone call that he had been in a car accident. He was fine. No broken bones, not really a scratch but his car was totaled. Me being the deeply concerned girlfriend I was I dropped everything and drove to Vegas to bring him back home. Ok, so I was highly impulsive too. I took one of my roommates with me and we drove the 15-16 hour drive to Vegas. I got to ring in the New Year on the Vegas strip with my boyfriend. I had my drinks and some drugs too. Life was good.

After resting up from ringing in the new year, clear headed and sober, we left Las Vegas to make the long drive back to Kansas. We left in the evening. We had just passed Flagstaff, Az. It was something like 2 in the morning. No cars where on the highway. I had my Novocain, that's what I called my Chevy Nova, easily going 90mph. My boyfriend was in the passenger seat, my roommate and his friend were laying down in the back asleep. No one had on seat belts.
Then it happened. It was like it just appeared there right in front of me. A deer. A big buck. For a split second I thought of slamming on the breaks and swerving to miss it. I swear it was like something told me not to and I just took my foot off the gas, gripped the steering wheel tight with both hands and braced for impact. I hit it straight on. It literally flew over the top of the car.
I immediately pulled off to the side of the road, having no other choice, the car was dead. Same as the deer. The guys got out of the car to go check out the deer. They said it was really far away from where I had hit it, that they almost gave up looking for it. They said it's hind legs were wrapped around it's shoulders. I still don't believe that.

I never got out of the car, not until the tow truck showed up. We were really not that far from Flagstaff and it wasn't long before a highway patrol found us and did a report and called a tow truck. We spent the night in a hotel and went to see the car the next day. They said it was totaled. I got all of my things out of it. My boyfriend called a friend in Vegas to come and pick us up. He took us back to Vegas and we all flew back to Ks. Which was what I had been trying to avoid in the first place.You can see the drops of blood on my crinkled hood.
This is why I am super vigilant when I am driving. I don't have tunnel vision. I don't just stare at the road ahead of me. My eyes are constantly sweeping side to side. I am real quick to see the glow of a critters eyes. I also know now why the days following that accident were a blur to me. I realized that if I had gone with my first instinct none of us would have lived to tell the tale. If we had it would have been nothing short of a miracle. I firmly believe that my little Nova would have rolled and flattened like a pancake if I had slammed on my breaks and swerved doing 90mph.

Everything happens for a reason.