Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been...well....forever since my last confession, seeing how I have never confessed before. How about a little background first? I was raised Mennonite and Catholic. My parents divorced when I was 7 and the woman my Dad remarried was Catholic. I spent every other weekend with my Mom so that meant one Sunday at my Mom's Mennonite church and one Sunday spent kneeling and crossing myself and even going to CCD. I quit going when it was time to get confirmed because I was not baptized in the Catholic religion. Heck, now that I think about it I was not baptized under any religion. Whoa, I better get back on track. I went to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve...technically midnight on the 25th. I loved midnight Mass. It's probably one of the only things I miss from Catholicism. One of my favorite things from my Mom's side of the family was the creche set or more commonly known as the Nativity Scene. This is also a Catholic thing , so it was present in my Dad's home too. My favorite thing to do was to set up our creche set. Every year I would set it up differently. I would stare at it for hours. I would even rearrange my Grandma's creche set. I have an itty bitty basic one, with only 3 people, but it has sentimental value due to my Mom receiving it from her little sister when my Mom was off at college,away from home.
I bet you are wondering what the heck my confession is.
I don't believe. I'm not religious. I don't go to any church, nor do I care to. Yet I feel so conflicted. The majority of my holiday traditions and decorations are religiously themed/related that it makes me feel... well, conflicted is not the right word to describe how I feel. I don't know what word is. I can't explain it. I guess part of me feels like I'm in the wrong somehow. Why do I keep decorating and doing things that I don't believe in? I do it because of the memories they hold. I do the things I do because of tradition, not because of some religious belief. It's decoration, just like Santa and all my snowmen. Oh fucking well. I wonder how many Hail Mary's I'll need to do for this one. Now, if I could just find my Rosary!
Bring on the trolls! Just remember: I am rubber, you are glue, everything you say to me, bounces off me and sticks to you! ;)
12 comments:
Mennonite? Really? That is fascinating!
I have a Catholic background also - I have lots of rosaries if you want one. ;)
12 years of Catholic schooling. Baptized and all. I believe in some way, just not the way the Catholics want me to.
It's not your fault, it's the xian religions fault for making you feel this way. For a start, Yuletide was a pagan celebration that was around long before the xians hijacked it for their own purposes. And second, christ was born some time in January, so they even fucked that up too.
convicted?
Thats how I feel when I do or say something that I know I shouldn't.
I feel the same way you do. conflicted. I think the majority of us do.
sometimes the traditions are the parts that are important.
How did I not know Mennonite? And I went to church with you sometimes?
I completely understand the conflict. I think Christmas time is so much about the traditions and how it makes you feel and spending time with those you love, slowing down at the end of a long, tiring year to sit and appreciate the beauty of the decorations and the warmth of your home filled with those you love.
I was raised VERY baptist. We really get into Christmas at our house, but it is a 100% secular Christmas. I think having religion shoved down my throat for 16 years is probably what turned me off of it.
Of course it could just be that I was just born a heathen....
Ditto! Ditto to the reason for doing these things that really aren't religious for me anymore, but are more related to my childhood. :) You're a good girl. :) I'll loan you my rosary. :)
Well, I think you know I am very devoutly Roman Catholic, and I makes Christmas as religious as possible, even refusing to allow people to call St Nicholas Santa in front of my child. I won't treat you any differently - and I hope you know that. But, I'd say that would probably require a baptism and then a lot of Hail Marys.
I was raised Methodist and we were at church every single time they opened the doors up for something. When I got to college things changed. I still believed in everything I had been raised to believe, I just didn't want to participate so much anymore and I completely stopped going to church. For the past 4 or 5 years, I've attended an awesome non-denominational church off and on. I actually haven't been in about 5 months but I don't feel as conflicted about it as I might have felt in the past.
I understand and love you anyway ;)
I was raised with a mix of Catholic from Dad's side, Lutheran and Baptist and Assembly of God from Mom's side... baptized Catholic as a newborn in Dad's church, baptized again at age 11 or 12 in an Assembly of God church... and I'm very glad I had that variety growing up.
The church we go to now is similar to Baptist, but is considered non-denominational. Very contemporary. I like it, as do the kids, but I miss some of the traditions of the Lutheran and Catholic churches. The traditions and memories are so important to the holidays. I no longer consider myself Lutheran, but I like the Lutheran services for the major holidays.
Post a Comment