Day 1

"And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." -Kahlil Gibran

And so starts yet another 365 countdown. Half of my heart is on its way to the sand box. Again.

"Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love." -George Eliot

A few of the things that suck on day 1:

~Waking up to realities slap in the face, or rather stab at the heart.
~That tingling sensation in your nose that indicates the water works are coming whether you want to or not!
~Welling up when you grab your toothbrush and see his is no longer by yours, and the knowledge that it will be gone for a long time.
~Making coffee the first morning without him and the big sigh and maybe a slight welling up when you realize that you have to make less coffee.
~Stumbling upon his slippers where he took them off last and wishing that he could come back to put them on.
~Seeing traces of his presence in every room.
~Wanting to tear down my Christmas trees ASAP!(Anyone that knows me, will tell you this is NOT me)
~Missing him so much that it hurts yet knowing that it hasn't even been 24hours since our last embrace.
~The boys squeezing their Daddy stuffed animals and hearing your voice. Too much. Too soon.
~The fact that this time day 1 is New Year's Eve. Celebrating is the last thing on my mind.

The boys and I did toast to Daddy's safe return to us this year. They drank their Daddy's favorite Mt. Dew and I had some sparkling cranberry apple juice. I didn't even feel like getting wasted!
We also celebrated with NYC, instead of the central time zone. Maybe we should have celebrated on sand box time. It's already New Year's Day where he is.
 I'm sure he didn't feel like celebrating either.