10 years ago today I went for a walk with my dog and my 3 year old son.
My dog passed away a year ago, so I take morning walks with a different dog.
My 13 year old son doesn't take walks with me, won't hold my hand or call me Mommy anymore.
The sound of sirens still triggers anxiety.
Every year on this day I would watch as much coverage as I could, which was like a twisted time machine, taking me right back to the day, re-living the terror. Everything was brought back to the surface. Now I see that I was just tearing off the scab that had formed over the wound, never giving it a chance to heal.
It's taken me 10 years to figure that out. I never said I was a quick learner.
I'll never EVER forget that day. It is truly etched into my mind and heart forever.
On this 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks I choose to leave the scab on my wound. I choose to heal. I choose to avoid the coverage and specials, especially the ones that show footage and sound bytes from that day. I choose to honor the victims not by transporting myself back to that day and re-living it, but by honoring them in my own way.
This year I will start a new tradition.
2 comments:
I think that we are all coming to the same place. We will never forget but we do not need to dwell there, either. http://myanderings-myanderings.blogspot.com/2011/09/how-do-we-honor-them.html
"My 13 year old son doesn't take walks with me, won't hold my hand or call me Mommy anymore." What?! That should be non-negotiable! My boys still do that, whether they like it or not.
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